Let’s Be Frankfurter

Speaking of conspicuous consumption…

A woman ate hot dogs, all slathered in chili;
in 22 minutes – this sounds rather silly –
she’d managed to chow down (uncertain for whose sake)
a total of 50 of these spruced-up tube steaks.

This person’s an eater, the kind called “competitive” –
who somehow wins prizes for feasting repetitive.
While most of us, modestly, might ask for seconds,
these champion eaters say piles of food beckons.

Cholesterol levels: a hundred-percent rise;
perhaps even more if each frank came with French fries.
(If I eat three hot dogs I have to unbutton
my trousers – yet all I’ll be called is a glutton.)

The call to consume for these eaters is clarion.
They mostly eat meat (just a few vegetarian).
It matters not whether you fry, bake, or boil it:
[insert your own joke here involving a toilet.]

“Let’s Be Frankfurter” — read by the author.

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