Spritz Impossible

A woman mistakenly cements her hair by using a permanent adhesive.

I’m no expert on most things tonsorial, but may I dare say:
you should never, ever use Gorilla Glue in place of hairspray.
When your hair needs holding power, Aqua Net is recommended.
Glue comes with a warning label: “For Use Only As Intended.”

Running out of product that a woman used to tend her coif,
she substituted glue – and now she cannot get the damn stuff off.
It doesn’t matter if she used a lot, or squirted just a smidge:
when running low on aerosol, don’t substitute with mucilage.

It’s been a month so far and still the woman can’t remove the glue.
Perhaps it comes as no surprise the next step is: she says she’ll sue.
Among the styling tips acknowledged as hair-dressing orthodoxy,
no beautician’s known to say, “When out of hair spray, use epoxy.”

“Spritz Impossible” — read by the author.

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