It gets harder to set a holiday table with each passing year…
Thanksgiving’s just around the corner;
Called my mom, so I could warn her
I no longer find prestige in
Eating turkey – now I’m vegan.
Mushrooms can’t have sausage stuffing.
Yams: without marshmallow fluff. String
Beans are fine without the butter
(Nothing that comes from an udder).
Gingered carrots can’t have honey.
Bacon-wrapped dates? Won’t eat one. We
Need to focus more on plant-based;
Screw those deviled eggs from Aunt Grace.
Everyone will hate me when you
Tell them how I trashed your menu.
Tension’s surely gonna thicken
Once they learn I’m also Wiccan.
