It gets harder to set a holiday table with each passing year…
Thanksgiving’s just around the corner;
called my mom, so I could warn her
I no longer find prestige in
eating turkey – now I’m vegan.
Mushrooms can’t have sausage stuffing.
Yams: without marshmallow fluff. String
beans are fine without the butter
(nothing that comes from an udder).
Gingered carrots can’t have honey.
Bacon-wrapped dates? Won’t eat one. We
need to focus more on plant-based;
screw those deviled eggs from Aunt Grace.
Everyone will hate me when you
tell them how I trashed your menu.
Tension’s surely gonna thicken
once they learn I’m also Wiccan.